Hahaha. I just realised something that made me feel er, weird. Lol. Typing it out here would sound really strange, so I'm just going to leave it at that.

Aiyah, I wanna say stuff, but typing it out here would be so weird!!!

Anyway, my wound seems to be getting better. Flies landed on it during training today, and its itching now. So I suppose it's healing!

Haha, I think I seriously need to get out of my cocoon/daydream-y state. Heard some stuff from people around me, that made me go WHOA, and managed to shock me. I've always got very rigid ideals about love, dating and stuff like that. So much so that talking to friends, sometimes makes me feel very prudish and ah-ma. And people with honeyed words make me feel very suspicious of them, and I will usually not believe their honeyed words.

Lol. But it's alright. Everyone has different ways of thinking, and of doing things. I think the worst thing you can ever say, is that someone's morals are wrong, just because they do things that you wouldn't do. I mean, who is to dictate right/wrong morals? Morals are a product of upbringing, our way of thinking, our lifestyle. As long as your morals don't hurt anyone, it's really fine.

I want to go London, Paris, Rome. Sit in a quaint cafe by the cobbled streets of London, watching the world go by, sipping a cup of hot chocolate on a cool autumn day, writing one of my stories. Visiting the beautiful architecture in Rome & Paris, immersed in a world where Time stops for me, getting lost in ancient history...

Those are my ambitions. Not very ambitious ones, but they keep my going.

Oh I am hungry + sleepy. I look forward to a slack day tomorrow. :D

Alright, I'm more or less done with Chinese. I'm just hoping for a B4. Sigh. I miss Mrs. Mah... HHW is good, but he just doesn't inspire me the way Mrs. Mah does. Then again, I miss many of my secondary school teachers. All of them were competent and dedicated. Sometimes, I wonder. Is this how JC is like? Where you're more or less left to your own devices? Or is it merely the teachers? I've realised that I'm very dependent on the notes teachers give us. I'm dependent on rote-learning. Ah. Need to reformat my system, to be more flexible and resourceful.

Went to HarbourFront Centre yesterday with my family. We had Subway for dinner. I'm addicted to Subway, and I should probably curb this addiction. Haha, but it is just SO delectable. Fresh lettuce, juicy capsicums, tangy onions, sweet honey mustard, with slices of succulent meat, wrapped in delicious warm Hearty Italian bread. The flavours explode in your mouth... Ohhh.

I want to drink the milkshake from McDonald's tomorrow! Feel like eating ramyun/bibimbap/qiulian ban mian. And brownies. Phwoaar. If only I had a metabolism rate that can allow me to satisfy my desire for food, and still remain stick thin. Okay, not stick-thin, but healthily so.

Muahaha, very excited about the holidays. I wish I'd signed up for OBS Korea. Sounds awfully fun.

Okay, gonna post up the rest of my story on Soompi. Annyong!

I've got tons of stuff I want to do after the Chinese 'AO' examination.

-Iceskate
-Zoo
-Night Safari
-Cycling & sushi at Sentosa
-05a5a chalet!
-BBGT chalet
-Springclean
-Prepare for Christmas!
-Suntec City
-Sleepover/movie marathon

Yes. I want to do ALL of that! Hopefully, all of 05a5a can make it for the chalet. But I know Mark isn't coming, cos he's going Australia. :( Oh well. I don't exactly want to springclean, but I figured it would be nice to clear some junk, and reorganize my stuff for 2006.

Other than the above agenda, I've got:

Trainings
Makeup lectures
Tuition with BBGT & Ms. Yau
CIP (Tutoring)
Study sessions
Paint basketball court with BBGT
Plan BBGT reunion dinner with Chinwei
Basketball camp

So busy. T___T Oh, I am not used to having my life jam-packed with activities & responsibilities, after having a slack CCA in Dunman. Haha.

Oh, and I've more or less decided not to drop any subject. I won't be taking 'S' paper either. I guess I'll just stick to my current combination. Although it kind of stinks, not being able to end school early, like those who do three subjects, I guess it's safer for me to do four subjects. If it were up to me, I would drop Math. But after what everyone says, I realise that it is indeed the only subject that guarantees you an A if you put in effort, and it is important next time. And I will not disappoint Mr. Neo! History is my next gripe. So much things to study, and the worst thing is, Mr. Mao won't be teaching us next year. I learnt the most things from him.

Okay, enough complaining. I'm returning to Chinese.

Hello!

Today was a pretty boring day. Had a GP lecture first thing in the morning, whereby I, amongst several others, received some sort of commendation certificate for GP. Emmalyn received one too, and when the teacher announced her name (in the LT), she refused to go up and was like, "Huh? I didn't do well!" She thought they had made a mistake. Wahaha, damn funny. When she took the cert, there was a look of disgust on her face. Damn cute lah, Emma!

Had MST & a super long talk by Mrs Ho. One thing I will not miss, when she leaves, is her talks. She keeps repeating her stories, haha. But I will definitely miss her. I think she's a good principal. Our new principal is going to be the one from Pioneer Junior College. Heard he's a pretty nice man, who gives people many chances? Something like that. Mrs Ho had only praises to sing of him. Then again, it's not like she can criticise him in front of us.

Got back our Promotional result slip today. It's the one with our final grades. I got BCDF; Lit, History, Econs and Math respectively. Ms. Jeeva says I need to put in more effort, but the thing that she said, that made me really happy, was, "You can actually do it." Hearing that kind of encouragement, and having a teacher believe in me, means alot to me. Yeah, I know you're supposed to believe in yourself, and that's all that matters, but I'm the type who needs support from other people, praises and encouragements. But then again, many do, don't they?

Found out something happy today. The president of Red Pill came to find me after the GP lecture, and apparently, I won the story-writing competition. Remember the "Search for Love" I was writing about? Lol. But she didn't say if I won 1st, 2nd or 3rd. I'll be happy if it was 1st, but I'm quite content that I won something.

The atmosphere was very depressing after school today. But I'm glad Elaine feels better now. She will always be our captain, no matter what! I'm really grateful we've got her as captain. Even though she continually pushes us, we know it's because she loves us, and because she's really dedicated to basketball. She already has my respect. I mean, it's rare that any captain will put in effort to organise extra self-trainings, teach us strategies, and be so patient with us. I'm glad she chose to stay on in Nanyang. I really believe she and Zhiying can bring BBGT to greater heights. P&C babes, we must jiayou for the two of them, for the team, and for ourselves! Let's train hard, study hard and play hard! I love every single one of you!

I hope Triangle feels better, and I think some of the ______ suck. I just wish we could have been more of a support for him. Sigh.

Went to town to meet Emma, Joel and Mark. Mark is a big, big meanie. He keeps insulting me, and said that if he went to a buffet with me, there wouldn't be enough left for him to eat. And we were talking about some girl in school who can run super fast, and Joel was saying I'm bigger-sized than the girl (she is SKINNY by the way), like taller. And that stupid Mark went to say, "And rounder." ~!!!!!! But he let me eat the last bite of his fried Mars bar with ice-cream, and oh my, it is SO good. It tastes like warm, sweet, heavenly brownie. Ooooh. I so want to eat it again. But it probably has more calories than my breakfast, lunch and dinner put together.

And FYI, I don't eat a lot at buffets. I eat very, very little!! My dad always says its a waste to take me to buffets cos I eat so little. So there! Mark, you will fully have MORE than enough to eat at the stupid buffet.

Today I ate:

A plate of char siew rice
A six-foot Subway cold-cut trio (share a footlong with Meanie Mark)
A double-chocolate chip cookie

QUITE LITTLE RIGHT??? Muahaha, I think so too. Compared to yesterday, where I ate:

A tuna sandwich
Chicken porridge
Fried fish tom yam noodles (it's very nice)
Bubble tea
A Cadbury hazelnut chocolate bar
Half a packet of tapioca chips (I love these too)
Dinner (rice with french beans, squid and chicken stew)

Yes. Compared to yesterday, I ate very little today. Have yet to take my dinner, though. Quite hungry, haha.

Somnething's very wrong with me. I keep thinking of food. The main thing in my head is food. I need to start seeing a therapist. On the bus back home today, I was looking out of the window, when I saw this primary school girl carrying a mustard-colored foldable umbrella. She was holding it up, and she hadn't opened it so it was still in a phallic like shape, and for a moment, I got a shock, cos I thought she was holding a giant gourmet sausage. Then I realised it was an umbrella, and was horrified with myself.

Need to start studying Chinese. Ahhh.

Oh, but it just gets me so miffed when people say they hate/dislike Ah Lians & Ah Bengs, bitches/sluts, bimbos in their Friendster profiles or whatever. Especially those who say they hate Ah Lians. Because really, nobody cares about Ah Bengs. Haha.

Yes, and on to my point. Why do you hate Ah Lians? And what exactly is an Ah Lian? If the girl has rebonded hair and likes taking photographs by opening her eyes really big, and wearing pink; she's an "Ah Lian"? And what is wrong with that? Doing all that = being hateful? I really cannot stand it, and I find it very immature when people say they dislike Ah Lians. For one thing, what's wrong with being an Ah Lian? And correct me if I am wrong, but I thought an Ah Lian was supposed to be like, a female gangster or something. Those fierce kinds? I mean, those girls have never done anything wrong to you, and so they like typing lIkE thIs, but is that a good enough reason to HATE them? So they cuss a bit, and some of them are quite loud when in public. Don't tell me you have never said a bad word in your life, and that you have never unintentionally made too much noise?

I sound like I'm in charge of a support group for these "Ah Lians". But ugh, stop slamming them. Go and do something more worthwhile, like giving up your seats to the elderly in buses and trains.

And I take a lot of offense when people say they hate bimbos. Because bimbos are air-headed, and unless YOUR intelligence quotient is super high, and you are smart enough to enter MENSA or something, don't even get started on flaming bimbos. Because you really aren't much smarter than them.

Sometimes, people just have to wake up and get some maturity. I don't know, maybe they can dig it up from the ground, in the form of an earthworm. When you're seventeen, eighteen and you're still talking like that, there's something very wrong with your level of maturity. Phooey.

Okay, enough acting like a wise, old bird. Speaking of "old", Ms. Jeeva was lecturing us on our appearances for our oral presentations. She said I was good, followed by, "She looks very auntie." Or something to that effect. The word "auntie" was definitely present. This is the second time she has called me auntie!!! Do I really look so auntie? I either look auntie/geeky/blur whenever I'm in school. Sad, sad life. Hahaha.

Emma: Haha, don't ask me why I don't show this side of me to people. I don't know either. I wasn't referring to you regarding the pessimistic part, but I will note that down! :)

Today was alright. My wound is bleeding again, because I scraped it against some old man's trousers on the bus, this morning. The halfway-healing skin got torn away, and blood pooled at the wound, and even trickled down my leg. It was disgusting, and it hurt alot. Vincent helped me bandage it up, and Ms. Jeeva thought I fractured my knee. Lol.

PW was alright too. We presented our slides/skits/vids today. I kept laughing during the skit segment of our group's presentation. Partly Mark's fault. He kept giving me a shell-shocked and mocking look, and knowing Mark's face... Grrr! Hahaha.

Too lazy to talk about the rest of my day in detail. Had training in which we all survived. Went to my grandma's house after that to celebrate my grandpa's birthday. Dinner was yummy, and I love the mango cake my unni bought. Fruit cakes beat chocolate ones anytime. My mom slapped on this horrid medicine onto my wound which caused it to sting/burn a whole lot, and I screamed. Lol. My cousin was so cute, she was poised over my knee, waiting to blow on it, to lessen the pain. Awww, what a sweetie! Hee.

Okay, I'm going to sleep now. So darn tired. Night!

If I am gone
Who should be there
To wipe away your tears
And hug you to sleep every night?

If I could type in a different language, like say, Korean, I could express all my secret thoughts here, without anyone understanding. As it is, all I can say is:

Suspect
Cannot
Why like that?
I do not understand.
Steel

Found out something that makes me feel kinda T___T Jane Austen's Persuasion sums up what I feel about the girl caught in the situation.

"We certainly do not forget you, so soon as you forget us. It is, perhaps, our fate rather than our merit. We cannot help ourselves."

"All the privilege I claim for my own sex, is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone."

Bored, bored, bored. I wish to immerse myself in some artistic pursuits. Like drama. Kind of looking forward to OP dry run tomorrow.

My entire body is aching, from yesterday's training. Especially the muscles in my back. Sigh.

Sometimes, I am such a bundle of contradictions, it scares me even.

I detest it when people get all negative and pessimistic. They irritate the hell out of me, and I feel like snapping at them, and telling them that they are put on this Earth for a reason, and thus, they ought to make the most out of their life, instead of always whining how bad their lives are, when it really isn't. Yet, sometimes, I am like them. I am largely optimistic, and I know some see it as a heck-care attitude. Sometimes, my parents get frustrated with me, because I don't seem to have a sense of urgency towards my studies. Stupid as this may sound, I have never been daunted by my horrid Math results.

It's not so much a heck-care attitude, but it is my refusal to feel upset, or unhappy that some things didn't turn out the way I would have liked them to be. Because, what is the point? I may feel disappointment, yes, but that is about as far as I am allowing my emotions to go. There isn't any point acting all sad, and I am sorry to say this, I find it ridiculously stupid to cry over your results. I cry over just about anything else; getting scolded in public, over shows and dramas... but I have never cried over my results. It just seems so wrong to me, unless it is warranted, like studying really, really hard, yet still failing.

I think I get irritated by things and people around me too easily. If I am in a bad mood, I feel like punching assholes who talk too loudly on the bus, so much so that I can hear them even through my MP3. I hate it when stupid old men or Banglas stare at me, and I will give them the meanest stare I can muster back. My brother's immaturity makes me feel like smacking him sometimes, but it will never wake him up. I know one day, he will grow out of his infantile ways, but till then, his continual infatuation with the computer, and his stubborness will be a bone of contention for me. Sometimes, the actions of the people around me, again, irritate the hell out of me. But I don't say anything, because I don't want conflict with people I am going to be facing everything. I dearly wish to lash out at them, and tell them to shut up, or even f*** off, but I know I will never, and thus, my mood becomes really bad, and it shows.

Of late, I have realised that I am a traditional, conservative person at heart. Not entirely so, but more so than others. So when people do certain things that I find not befitting their social status, or behaving in a certain way, I get very, very disgusted. And evil thoughts begin to surface. That's the evil, stubborn, old grandmother in me.

Who are you, and what do you matter? Who am I? I feel very old sometimes, I feel as if I see things which my peers around me (save for a few) are blind to, and then, I feel that their blindness is due to their shallowness. I hate it when people don't care about the consequences of their actions, and do not spare a thought for other people's feelings. Sometimes, I think, why can't they behave like seventeen year-olds, and assume their responsibilities as mature adolescents, instead of being so self-centered? But then again, I myself am like that sometimes. I marvel at a certain someone's unreasonable behaviour. I do not know how others tolerate this person, but I hope I will never cross the person in one of his/her unreasonability (if there is such a word), because I just might not keep quiet in the presence of such a rude and uncaring act, as others have done.

And I don't know if this entry is a result of PMS, or of revelation. Either way, it's nice to get things off my chest.

*Yo yo yo, check it, check it*

Hahaha, this reminds me of the way Zhiying did her fakes today.

Feeling unreasonably cheerful now. Today was quite an alright day. Relatively uneventful. Part of our class helped out with Zhiying's PW group. We were the cast of the adaptation of the Columbine shootings. Mark & Bob were the "losers" who were jeered at, and they were the ones who murdered their schoolmates. Mark is classic man. Wahaha. We were supposed to scream and hide under the tables when he entered the classroom, brandishing a gun. But the expression on his face was SO serious, and SO scary, that all of us ended up laughing our heads off, instead. The PE scene was super hilarious, too. Shall not mentioned what happened, to preserve Mark's dignity. Puahaha.

We were sitting in the canteen (BBGT) today, because it was pouring, so training was delayed. I saw Ezann Lee! (Ericia Lee's sister) Because my eyesight is so bad, I couldn't see her features clearly, but she looks quite good, but rather different from television, and from magazine covers. Oooh, but it's so exciting to have a celebrity film something in your school!

Today, I accidentally dropped the medicine ball onto Yizhen's jaw, while she was lying on the floor, and thus she conked her head as well. Argh!! Really sorry, Yizhen!! I feel damn bad lah. I must not dream anymore. Sigh!!

But today's training was quite good. Can finally do la qiu zhuan shen. I don't know what that's called in English. But I can only do it with my right hand. Left hand will need some more practice. Speaking of my left hand, its practically useless. I couldn't even bounce the medicine ball twenty times with my left hand. It was as if my left hand didn't belong to me, and thus, I couldn't bounce it. Must start training my left arm.

I am going on a diet!! Although I drank bubble tea after training today... T___T Never mind, I will start tomorrow! Ai Ling and Siping are going on a diet with me! Haha. I hope it works, and not backfire horrendously, like the other time, when I ended up eating more than usual.

I'm going to play a bit of Neopets, then hit the sack. Annyong!

I must have a very high threshold for pain, because I peeled the gauze from my sticky wound just now, and although I was spewing expletives while doing that, I survived, and didn't even tear. And now, my wound is stinging like a mother, because my mom wiped it with some medical disinfectant, and put iodine solution on it. It's times like these when I really feel like saying the four-letter word. Haha.

Today was the corporate triathalon thing. It was alright... Was screaming myself silly, trying to cheer the triathletes on. Good experience, I suppose? Went for lunch with BBGT after that, then I went down to Serangoon to do PW at Emily's house. Quite a fruitful session, and everyone was there, so that was nice. I like Emily's room, it's very cosy. And her dog's cute!! Haha. Reminds me of Baby, it barked its head off when I rang the doorbell.

And at least I can do something about it now.

There's a pretty nice song called Breathe, by Anna Nalick.

Feel like saying some stuff, yet I cannot articulate the words. My thoughts and feelings are one whole jumbled up mess.

Heya. Something interesting is going on in NY. There's a filming of some drama/movie going on! Got some dude with an American accent... but he looks suspiciously cross-eyed. Puahaha. The female lead is quite pretty! Her smile is like Miriam Yeung's. I was staring at the filming from the stairs, like some geek. Wahaha.

Today was a damn boring day. Did some PW... then went for lunch with Emily and Zhiying. Emily left after that, and Zhiying and myself bought bubble tea back to school. We sat at the grandstand, listened to my Zen Micro, then decided we were very bored, and starting shooting pearls onto the grandstand. (If any authoritarian figure reads this I am dead). I can't beat Zhiying's distance. T___T

Went for Chinese... today was less boring, but still boring. Sigh. Can't wait for AO Chinese to be over. Played some ball after that, then went home with Elaine and Zhiying. While we were walking to the bus-stop, I was wondering why my right hand was so sticky, then I looked down and found blood trickling down my middle finger!! I was quite appalled. Lol. Till now, I still don't know how the cut on my finger came about. Aish.

So effin' bored + ______________________________.

Oh, words that cannot be uttered.

Argh, for some reason, I'm in an effing bad mood now. Stupid cramps, stupid bloated stomach, stupid tiredness, stupid leg, stupid fingers. Stupid everything!!

My bad mood is affecting my English, even as I blog.

Cramps = PMS = my current bad mood. Perhaps? I like to think I don't suffer from PMS but I guess I do. And I tend to get very irritated over the slightest things, and everything is blown out of proportion. My stomach hurts, my abdomen hurts, even though I did not have a very big dinner. I had to eat two slices of papaya after dinner, and because I was preoccupied with I don't know what, I ate the skin of the papaya as well, without even realising it was the skin, till my mom told me. Argh!!!

And I feel so lethargic. Haven't been sleeping well lately. Sigh. On top of that, my left leg has been giving me problems. I think I've got the same problem as the one Zhen used to have. I feel as if I twisted my ankle, but the pain isn't exactly at the ankle, but slightly above it, along the side of my calf. And the top of my foot feels as if all the veins inside have ruptured. Shit. And apparently, this will push the knee out of place, and it seems that my left knee isn't aligned properly anymore. And my fingers on my right hand are still sprained, it hurts when I bend them.

I'm going to die!!! Would dearly love to sleep right now, but I've got to do the script for OP for PW.

Today, I don't like my brother. Grrr.

Brrr. In the computer lab now, snuggled inside Jamie's Billabong sweater. It's so cold in here, I don't know how the technicians survive. Just finished typing a little more for my sosul. Aieee. Skipped Math lecture. Went to the library with Emily... was reading The Nanny Diaries, which isn't very interesting. Fell asleep after that. Then came to the computer lab... I'm so thirsty, forgot to bring my water bottle today. Waiting for PW tutorial to start. Hopefully we'll get back the rest of our Literature papers today.

Gaah, shouldn't have come to school today. Didn't do anything for GP. Mr. Seng wanted us to do our PW instead. My group didn't have any materials with us, so we couldn't do much.

Oh well, at least there's lunch later with my dearest Chingy!! Haven't seen that girl in EONS. Can't wait!! ^^

There's training tomorrow at Cedar. I've got mixed feelings about it, hahaha. On one hand, we don't need to run the dreader 3 rounds around school. Instead, we run six rounds around the track, which is really like heaven compared to the 3 rounds. On the other hand, the Cedarians are like super good and we are going to play a match against them tomorrow. I don't want to die!! T___T

Erhurhur. The Maths teacher just talked to me and said Jamie, Eileen and Dah were making enough noise for a market. And I was like, "Mei you yi jian". Lol, he's quite funny.

Going off now. Annyong!

Aye, had a great time with Chingy today. Wahaha. Had lunch at BK, then walked around TM. I had the hotdog and there was the thing to squeeze the different sauces out of the bottles! I want that machine!! Hahaha. Bought a box of Chocolate Chip and Pecan cookies for my bro's birthday, as well as a huge packet of Macademia and Chocolate Chip cookies for myself and my family. So I am officially broke!! I spent like $17 at Famous Amos. T___T

My dongseng is sooo cute! He cried cos he thought I forgot about his birthday. Well, I know it's today, but it kinda slipped my mind this morning. It was only after my Umma wished him, that I remembered it was his birthday. Then he was very upset, cos he said that even his primary school friend remembered it was his birthday today, and how come I didn't remember it. Awww. He was super happy when I gave him the box of cookies. Lol.

Anyway, its so good being able to see Chingy again. It's great to see her do all her stupid actions, and we had some nice heart to heart chats as well. And we were laughing our heads off on the bus, because I realised something very quirky about *****. I think she and her boyfriend are a match made in Heaven. ^^ Haha, that stupid Chingy told me Bel was working in LV, and I was like ???!!! In the end, she's working at Singtel. Lol. I wonder where LV came from.

As to Dari, Felicia & Belinda: We've gotta go out SOON girls!! Hopefully all five of us can make it for dinner this Friday. Tampines Mall is getting kinda boring though. Girls, let's go ice-skating and town together yeeees! :D

Muahaha, I've got so many ideas for several stories. Hopefully I can finish them all.

Zying's still sick. Get well soon, love!

Very bored, feel like playing Neopets. Hahaha.

Ugh, I'm dying!! Got a lump on the lower lid of my left eye, and my eyes are bloodshot as a result of wearing my lenses for a whole day, and not having enough rest the night before. My ass is itching non-stop, and my right hand is sprained, because I kept slamming my hand against the ball during training today. (Accidentally lah)

T____T

Well, got back most of my results today. Actually, all, save for Ms. Victor's side for Literature. Here goes:

General Paper:

Essay: 33/50
Compre: 24.5/40

Mathematics: 25/100 (I'm quite pleased, lol. So loserish of me.)

Economics

MCQ: 21/30
DRQ: 17/30
Essay: 17.5/50

History: 51/100 (Very disappointed)

Literature

Poetry PC: 32/50
Persuasion: 17.5/25

-

Yup, that's about it. I've yet to get back my Prose PC & Measure for Measure, but I'm banking on a B for Literature. Hopefully I'll be able to take 'S' paper for it. So my grades are as follow, excluding Literature: DEF

Yes, it's super ugly, but I can promote, and I'm hoping I'll be able to get a D for Econs overall, and a C for History. I was expecting a B for History, so my marks came as a bit of a shocker. Well, I'm quite alright with Maths, but I'll definitely need to work harder for it. I'm thinking of what subject to drop now. It's either History or Econs. There's less stuff to study for Econs, but the essay is difficult to write.

Oh well, I'll ponder about that some other time. Training today was pretty alright, Jiaolian was quite lenient with us. Played three on three! Super fun, but I was burnt out.

BBGT: Jiayou! All of us will be able to promote, and go on to J2 together, alright! Love all you girls, let's start organizing our study camps! :)

Only 9 people came for training today. Zhiying, Wenting and AiLing are sick. Get well soon sweeties!

It's my dongseng's birthday tomorrow. Wonder if I should go school, since it's only till 12.40pm... Feel like going out for a bit to shop for his present, sit in Starbucks and read King Lear (my Lit text) or write my sosul... SLEEP!! Strange, I never liked sleeping as a hobby (it's a stupid one to have, IMO), because I think it's not a very good use of time when you can be doing something else like reading or eating, haha. But now, I don't mind sleeping instead of going online or watching telly.

Okay, I'll end here for now. To go or not to go!! Aish.

Handa!

And everything in this life, fades away. All things tangible, will eventually disappear from the face of this Earth. Each particular sunset is different and unique. Once the beauty of a sunset dips beneath the horizon, it is forever lost. Each particular feeling you have, can never be recaptured. Even if you go back to the same place, and do the exact same things you did, the feeling can never be the same as it was before.

Even the life we live is transient. Eventually, we will die.

But do you believe, that love overcomes all of these? The one thing in this life, that will never fade away, or be relinquished to Heaven, is the love that two people share. An immortal love, that no gun can ever kill, no man can ever destroy. An immortal love, that does not die in the tombs, that is stolid and unshakable, that comes to the few who are destined to be together.

Song Eun-chae and Cha Mu-hyuk.

Their names were written in the stars.

I wrote this prologue yesterday... I think its not bad. I especially like the last two sentences. Hehehe. Whatcha guys think?

No idea if I'm going to make this a one-shot or a long one. Just writing on the fancy of my inspiration, and seeing where it takes me. This story's inspired by MISA, hence the same characters and similar theme of transcendental love. No idea what the title is going to be though.

Aye, very sleepy. The weather's perfect for sleeping. Going to bed now! Annyong~

Aish. I want to continue with the final two discs of MISA, yet I am afraid to, because I don't want to cry my ass off again. Sigh. Mu-hyuk ah, Mu-hyuk. Why do you have to die? It's going to take my days to recover from this drama. Yes, I have withdrawal symptoms everytime I watch a drama, be it happy or sad. Haha.

Why can't schools here in SG have ggangpae?? As in, the cool type. Like SSH in The Guy was Muhshesuh, or KSW in My Tutor Friend?? All we have are stupid wannabe Ah-Bengs who spew Hokkien vulgarities like that's the only thing they can speak. Or cool jocks like Halu. T___T Man, I want to study in Korea/Japan or even USA!!

Looking for some nice fics to read on Soompi... nothing good so far. I want something with good English and an expansive vocabulary, for a change. TMOIM was good.

I want to:

Go ice-skating
Take neoprints with my Famous Five
Go out with my Famous Five
Eat really good bibimbap
Write really good sosul
Go Sentosa
Babysit
Teach kids
Fall in love forever
Watch chick flicks and eat popcorn
Watch Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire
Develop Prom photos
Dance & go Kbox
Act in a play
Eat a hotdog with lots of ketchup & mustard
Visit The Face Shop
Get A level passes for Econs, History & Lit

Argh bored, bored, bored!!!

I feel like eating again, and I just ate ice-cream! Save me.

A photolog! Pictures taken on 11 October. Not all of them are here, though. I've yet to ask Dah to send me the other photos, and I've got some other photos I uploaded onto my other computer. So those will have to come another time.

Meanwhile, enjoy!


My birthday cake that Zhiying got Wenyong & TK to surprise me with. When I saw the two of them I grabbed my left side of my shirt (totally like Halu) and gasped. Hahaha.


Pretending to blow out my candles, cos my Black Horse (a.k.a Eileen) complained I blew them out before she could snap a photo of me.


Me & Zhiying, at the bus-stop opposite her house, waiting for 156.


Zhiying, myself and Siping in the toilet at Cineleisure! She was there to go K-Box. ^^


Emma, Zhiying and myself, in Takashimaya's toilet. Erk, we've got a penchant for toilets!


05A5A hottays! Taken at the fountain outside HMV in Heeren. From left (second row): Dahniela, myself, Emma, Zhiying, Linghui. From left (front row): Emily, Eileen & Jamie (ah)!


Emma, Zhiying, Emily and myself.


With the guys now! The guy at the back is Vincent, the one in front is Swee Wei, and next to me, is Marky!


From left: Jamie, Eileen, Jamie's "girlfriend" Dah, Zhiying and myself!


From left: Linghui, Emily and Emma!


At Marche: Emily's lamb chop


This should be the guys' food. I still remember how Mark stuffed Rosti into his mouth like he hadn't eaten in years.


Group shot! I'm the one taking the photo, so I'm not inside.


Another group shot.

That's all I have for that night, for now. More to come another time!

Hmm, some neoprints with the Famous Five! Hahaha.


From top left: Me, Chingy, Dari. Bottom left: Belinda, Felicia


Double trouble! Love this one! Myself, Belinda.


Absolutely adore black & white photos. From left: Felicia, myself, Bel, Chingy & Dari!


I look monstrous.. but this shot's nice!


A simple one.. because we didn't have time to decorate it! Aha.


This was done at Felicia's house, for Chingy's birthday present.


Belinda looks hella retarded. Wahaha.

Yep, that's about it!

"Miahnada... saranghanda."

And in that instant, she started crying.

He remembered all that she told him. A life without memories; that was the worst sort of life a person could have. So his life wasn't the worst after that. He had memories, yes, he did. Dressing his mother's wound when she stepped on glass... eating the noodles his mother cooked for him... And most importantly, he had memories of her. His rock-head, Song Eunchae. How she thought he had come to Korea, all the way from Australia, because he was in love with her. How she had hugged him, and asked him if he felt better. How she had tried to dry the tears of the lost child, when her own tears were falling, when she was no more than a child herself.

Yes, his life wasn't so bad after all. Because he had memories of her.

"Miahnada... saranghanda."

A fantastic drama. The best I've seen so far. No words I write can do it justice, so watch the drama. You will not regret it. I didn't regret staying up till 3am this morning, crying my heart and my life out, feeling the pain wrench my heart, then going to bed all dizzy and heartbroken. I didn't regret waking up with swollen eyes, and barely existing in this world. I could only see those eyes of So Ji Sup's.

"Dear God, I'll swear to you again. All my hatred, my plans for revenge, my anger... I'll throw them all away... as long as you let her stay by my side."

Stairway to Heaven, seems like nothing compared to MISA. Never have I seen a more different character than SJS's. The plot itself is not cliched like the usual. Mu-hyuk (SJS's character) is not the type you'll swoon over, like KSW's character in StH. So that makes the involvement with the character all the more realistic, intricate.

Sigh. It's painful, but I must finish the rest of the episodes. I cheated, and jumped to the last episode when I was around episode 9. Not tonight, though. My eyes have taken enough abuse for the day. Haha. Crying my eyes out hurts a hell lot.

And, it's more than a love story. It's a genre all on it's own. Watch it, honestly.

Argh, my head is spinning for some reason. Felt dizzy after taking a shower. Aish, I hope I don't have a brain tumor or anything, lol.

My day today, is the ideal day I'd like to have everyday. Woke up early, and went to school to play some ball with Emma, Emily & Joanne. The court was wet, and it was drizzling slightly, so it was rather difficult to enjoy the game. Sat down for awhile, gossiped, watched the dragonboat people train, and gushed at how cute some of them are.

Came home after that. I bought Campbell canned soup for lunch. I spent like twenty minutes trying to figure out how the can-opener works. -_- I felt like a super bimbo then. You know, those air-heads who are so stupid they don't even know how to plug hair-dryers in? Hahaha. Finally figured out how it worked, and cooked my soup. While cooking halfway, my stomach suddenly went crazy, and I had to lao sai or poo all on the floor! I dropped everything I was doing and dashed to the toilet and my poo came out. It was all watery and really disgusting. T___T Why like that, waaah!! Okay, shan't go into further details. I just wanted to put that down, because I have no idea why I suddenly had to lao sai. Weird.

Watched Miahnada, Saranghanda (I'm Sorry, I Love You) after that, starring So Ji Sup and Im Soo Jung. Oh my goodness, SJS is so hot! His body is almost perfect (IMO)! He's tall and lanky, yet lean and muscled. And his acting is really good. His eyes can be so deadened, yet the next minute, it can well up with tears, and the pain will rent your heart in two, and the next minute, it can be smiling and full of mirth. Magical. And Im Soo Jung is so cute!! She's just like an innocent little girl. The drama is super addictive! Going to watch more of it later. Muahaha.

Went for dinner with Yizhen, Elaine, Huiwen, Chee Hui, AiLing & Xinyang after that. Met them at Marina Bay. Ah, it was really fun, despite us being such a small group. The prawn-cooking was particularly memorable. One of the prawns jumped out of the container, and fell to its death, onto the floor. We were all shrieking as girls do. Haha. Stupid prawns. Kept giving me and Huiwen heart attacks. Everytime they twitched, we'd shriek and push our chairs far, far away from the table. Wahaha. Went to the arcade after that. Lol, haven't been there is ages! We played Daytona (Elaine
's really good at that), then some shooting game, then table soccer (!!) and the soft-toy game! Which is totally a cheat-your-$$ game. But addictive! Haha.

Wanted to go and look at stars after that, but the sky was cloudy, and anyway, there's school tomorrow.

Alrighty, gonna watch my MISA now! Annyong!

I'm hella tired. Overslept this morning, and had to take a cab down to school. It was hard communicating with the uncle, because I didn't know what "right" and "left" in Chinese were. As in, I know its "zhuo" & "you" but I don't know which is which. Lol. And when he said "jiao tang", I thought he meant stadium. Argh.

Training was killer. I survived the three rounds, deproved by about a minute? Sigh. Today was pretty alright lah. Did lots of shooting.

On the way home, this freaking loser tried to take my photo with his stupid camera phone. It's like, he came on with his two other punkster (the cannot make it kind, please) friends, and then he was actually sitting at the back, but he suddenly came and sat next to me. And sit until so bloody close some more. I was actually too tired to care, since I was dozing. When I heard him say, "Eh kuai dian, gei wo dian hua" (Eh quickly, give me my phone) I suspected something. But I continued sleeping. Wah lao, that asshole is really a piece of shit lah. I turned my face towards the window and continued sleeping (the repercusssions of being a pig), so that in case he tried to take my picture, he couldn't. Or so I thought. He accidentally nudged my arm and I woke up, only to see his outstretched hand with the bloody phone in front of me. Like he stretched his cursed hand over to my side? And because he is so freaking stupid, he quickly moved his hand away when I woke up and pretended nothing happened.

*&^$@&*$#*@&$& I was so effing pissed. Mostly cos' I couldn't sleep in peace now, without worrying if he was going to try and take my picture again. So I refused to sleep and looked out of the window. I think he gave up, cos he went to the back. I so wanted to snarl "loser" at him before I got down the bus, but it got too crowded after he went to the back. Then I contemplated giving him the middle finger, but aiyah. You know me, I'm a coward. Lol. All talk, no action. What if he ran down the bus & beat me up? But I was damn angry, and after I got down at my stop, I was making ugly faces at the bus and muttering to myself. Quite unconsciously, until I realised how weird I must look. Angry!!!

Ok, anyway, enough about that cretin. I seriously hope his phone explodes or drops in the toilet bowl and spoils! And that all his stupid ear piercings all rot and maggots infest his ears!

Yesterday was tons of fun. Thank you for all your presents!! And thank you to Wenyong & Tat Kian as well. ^^ I'll update about yesterday together with pictures another time. :)

Aieee my brain's busted. Had like 3 to 4 hours of INTENSIVE Measure for Measure analysis with Marky & Joel today. They came to my house today, and we sat by the poolside and basically just analysed Measure for Measure, act by act. It's quite nice studying with Joel, since he tends to offer an alternative point of view to what I've to say. So I sort of gain a more balanced point of view. As for Mark, he'll be all quiet while the two of us debate over this & that, then suddenly, he'll come up with some chim phrase or whatever. Lol.

Joel went swimming after that, while I tried to summarize the whole of Persuasion for Mark. The two of them wanted to collaborate to dunk me in my own pool, clothes and all. That stupid Mark even said, "Melissa, let me see your handphone. Eh, give me all your papers & books. Your specs also." Like that was sooo subtle. Jeez. Haha. They didn't dunk me in the end, thankfully.

After that we started talking about some other stuff. It's nice to find out about other people's past and see how different it is from yours, and it kind of reminds you that not all of us lead the same kind of lives. We all have our battle scars, and some of our scars are deeper and much more hurtful. And if you try to listen to how others' lives were like, you wouldn't be so caught up in thinking that your own is bad. And we should be grateful for that.

Oh, I got my very first birthday "present" from Joel today. He printed out this photo of me winking into the camera (the one that Mark refuses to believe is me, and which Joel thinks I look very good in, just that I don't look like myself, so it isn't really a good thing. Lol) in black & white, and wrote a nice message on the back of the card. Haha. Thanks Joel. :)

Got many birthday messages today from my friends. I like the one from Shyuan best!

"rem exactly last yr we cut a cake in class, smashed it around and made a lot of noise when the sec3s upstairs are having exams. mdm suharni came down to scold us? we cleared up b4 mr bernard (my super-strict DM back in sec sch) came to check on us and got away from him! wad stupid day is it? its your birthday! happy birthday mel!"

Haha, it just brought back such lovely memories.

In no particular order, thanks to: Yizhen, Huiwen, Unnie, Zhiying, Chinwei, Darianne, Dah, Shyuan, Jevan, Weihan, Jazz Lee, Ching, Fel, Siping, Ruzaini (I'm surprised he still remembered my birthday. It was a little unsettling, but thank you!), Chee Hui, AiLing, Teng Lui, Joel, Mark, Eileen, Emily & Emma!

Last but definitely not the least, my OMMA! She gave me a birthday kiss this morning on my cheek when I just woke up, and sleepily proclaimed, "It's my birthday today leh." She laughed and gave me a kiss, regardless of my oily face and my drool. Wahaha. I love my omma.

Alrighty. Can't wait for tomorrow! :)))) Annyong!

I want to sleep, but my Mom, Bro & Sis are in my bedroom watching Russell Peters, who is some stand-up comedian in the US. And they are laughing their asses off. Haha.

Anyway, went to Changi Airport today to study. I absolutely love the airport. ^^ We studied in BK for awhile, then went to Subway for lunch. I kept dripping mustard onto my pink pants, and it looked like poo!! Lol. Went to the toilet and Zhiying helped me scrub out the stains. Thanks darla! After we came out of the toilet, we saw our fellow schoolmate. He's the one who gives me the Toro-ish vibe. The three of us were staring at each other, and it was pretty awkward, so my mouth moved into a semblance of a smile, while I think he was deciding whether to smile or not as well. Lol, super funny.

Studied for awhile more at the food court after that. Saw quite a few Dunman Sec 5s. Studying for O Levels I suppose. Best of luck to them!

Wandered around TM after that for a lil while, then Zhiying had to go home. Sent her to the bus interchange, before waiting for my family to go for dinner. We went to Jack's Place. It was pretty alright.

To EILEEN & JAMIE: I saw this waiter at Jack's Place who looked like the Young Master Goose in Yummy Yummy! Wahaha!! But my mom says the waiter's cuter. Lol.

Realised that Measure for Measure is a highly problematic play. There are so many loopholes and occurences that sometimes do not fit in very well, so it seems very awkward.

Another day of studying tomorrow, and on Monday I suppose. Life is meaningless. T__T

You can't force a wrong piece of jigsaw to fit into a puzzle.

Annyong.

Argh, waiting for PRIDE, Episode 10 to finish sending, from Yusho. It's take a looong time though, past 4 hours now. I wish I could go sleep but I need to shut down the computer after I finish with it. Sigh.

I started on my one-shot fanfiction just now. It's tentatively entitled "Love is Blind" and it's meant to be more of a pun than a cliche. It's going alright I guess. Was surfing Soompi's fanfic thread. They've got this monthly short-story battle, and I'm loving the Graphic category! You're supposed to write a story based on the following graphic:

Click

Beautiful, isn't it? I was really quite awestruck when I saw the graphic. Whoever created it must've been one hell of a Photoshopper. :) It's the stuff that my dreams are made of, and it's the exact sort of thing that gives me inspiration to write. Not tonight though. But the theme to write the story one is not easy. At least for me. I can't write about "Simple Romanticism" for nuts. I wouldn't be doing justice to the beautiful poster. I would like to try though, but I won't be entering it in the "battle". The deadline's one the 14th for one thing, and for another, I'd like to finish my Love is Blind first. So far, stories/fanfictions I want to do or have yet to complete:

-Love is Blind [One-shot]
-Snowflakes & Daffodils [Proper fanfiction with gasoos (Korean for celebrities)]
-Just Like Heaven [Short-story]

Snowflakes & Daffodils will most probably be reposted in Soompi at the end of my A Levels. Shall try to finish the story before reposting it. I want it to be a masterpiece! Haha.

There's like nothing to do. I can only pray PRIDE hurries up & finishes!! T__T

I shall post up the first part of Love is Blind. Haven't decided where to segment it into Chapter 1 yet.

Love is Blind.


"And for your misdemeanor, young man, you shall do community service for the entire year, as of today." The principal said severely, peering at the unrepentant student before him.

Halu idly chewed on his gum as he stifled a yawn, and stared back at Mr. Lee, the principal. He couldn’t think of a stupider punishment, than "community service". If he had to do community service for every time he got punished, the school wouldn’t need to hire cleaners anymore. It was either sweep the track, or the field, or clean the toilets.

"Since you are obviously not learning from your past mistakes, this time round, you will be the guardian of Murase Aki. You will help her get to school and back home. During lunch breaks, you will help her get her food, and you will not leave her side till you send her back to her classroom. You will do this every single day, except on weekends, of course. I will be checking with Aki herself, so do not think of worming your way out of this one. Perhaps you will learn what compassion is, Mr. Satonaka."

Halu’s vigorous chewing halted, as a look of disbelief crossed his handsome features.

"And who the hell is this Muaki Arusae?" He asked.

"It’s Murase Aki to you, young man. I am frankly, quite disappointed in your lack of interest in your fellow schoolmates. Oh, I forgot, you only go for the pretty ones. I hear you’re quite… friendly to the female students. Well, Aki’s an almost-blind female student in our school. Soon, she will lose her eyesight completely. Even now, she needs help in getting around. She is however, a very accomplished writer, as you ought to know, unless you absented yourself during last year’s poetry recital." The principal intoned, casting a knowing glance at Halu.

As Halu left the principal’s office, he contemplated Aki’s timetable. She would have finished lessons for the day in exactly five minutes time. Glaring at the timetable, he stuffed it into his pocket and sauntered off towards the bleachers.

"Halu! Training’s at 4pm, right? Come on, let’s go!" Makoto, Halu’s teammate, ran up to him.

"Hey, Satonaka. What did Lee say?" Hotta tossed Halu his ice-hockey stick as the Blue Scorpion ice-hockey team trudged out of the school.

"Community service, as usual." Halu sniggered.

As they got further from the school, Halu tried to ignore his ticking watch. Almost fifteen minutes had past; the Aki girl wouldn’t wait, right? He attempted to push the nagging guilt to the back of his mind, but his attempt was futile.

"Damn. Hey, you guys go ahead and train first. The same thing; three rounds around the neighborhood, then practise with your pucks. If I’m not there by 5.15pm, go ahead and play first. I’ll join you guys later." Halu rattled off as he ran towards school.

Hm, like I said, I adopted the characters from PRIDE. Haha. I don't really know anything about ice-hockey, so I just threw in crap about the training part.

I wish I was good at Photoshopping, then I can go and create some beautiful graphics when I'm bored. Ah I want time. Time to pursue all my interests. Unlimited time to sink myself into my fantasies, unlimited time to search for beautiful, inspirational pictures, unlimited time to watch the splendor of the setting sun every evening... unlimited time to just write.

As it is, I am not J.K. Rowling who can make millions by coming up with just one well-loved series of books. That kind of talent is rare. And I doubt I even have a fraction of her imagination. I really must explore other genres of writing.

Oh well. Nightynight, all.

Aieeeee Econs is over! Muahaha. MCQ was pretty alright. Should be able to get 20/30. Yes yes, I know that's pretty low, but as long as it isn't below 20, I'm happy. DRQ was alright too, but I didn't really have time to complete my questions. I've got some serious time management problems. Aish.

Went to play ball after that with Zhiying, Scott, Zhiliang, Xiaowang and another guy. Ah I fell down again lah. And this time, for no reason at all! I didn't bang into anyone and didn't even trip over my own foot. I just fell. It was ridiculous!! I think my Alzheimer's Disease must've progressed to Stage 2. That's when you begin to lose control of your muscles. Sigh.

After that, the two of us, together with Jamie, Eileen & Dah went to town. Went to Cineleisure for pasta. We couldn't finish our pastas, ugh. Felt kinda nauseated after a few mouthfuls. Jamie was very upset with the man, cos she specifically told him she didn't want peas but they forgot to take it out. Wahaha. So funny. We window shopped around, saw quite a few NY people, including the girls from 05A5B, Amy and Eeshin.

Oh!! And I went to the shop in Heeren where they sell all the photos of Japanese stars! I found quite a few photos of Takuya Kimura! According to Zhiying, I spent 25 minutes in there, trying to decide which photo I wanted. Eileen even helped me flip a coin to decide, but in the end, I chose this one where he had his hairstyle in PRIDE and was looking all frown-y and brooding and oh so hot! My mom said he's damn ugly though. Zzzz. Nvm, she likes Bae Yong-Jun that kind one. Haha.

Met Shyuan too! Haha. She's damn cute, the first thing she said was, she's going to get retained. Ah, I think she can make it lah!

Went home with Zhiying after that. Nearly fell again while walking on FLAT GROUND to Somerset station. Shucks. I really think there's something wrong with me.

Oh, and in the station itself, a most embarrassing thing happened. While on the escalator down to the trains, I saw my train and I ran down towards it but the doors closed just before I could step in. I was a little embarrassed, but the doors opened again! So I shouted bye to Zhiying and ran towards the doors, flailing my arms like a mad woman, and just as I lifted my right foot out to enter, the door CLOSED AGAIN!!! I was like ?????? And, yes, everyone in the train probably thought I was some lunatic. Jeezers. I was damn embarrassed. This takes the Top Ten Most Embarrassing Things that have occured in my life. Sigh.

Okay. I'm going to start on my story now. Hehe.

Oh man! I was doing Econs TYS just now, which was a most boring affair, when I got the most fantabulous idea for a fanfic! I think it's damn cliched, but who cares?? Hahaha. And I've decided to make Halu & Aki the lead characters of my fanfic! I am damn excited now, wish I could start typing out my story right away! Wrote down a bit of it in my notebook where I write all sorts of rubbish. Ah, it's going to be a one-shot. Maybe I'll doing it tomorrow after Econs. Then I'll post it up in Soompi, which crashed by the way! Everything's gone, so all Soompiers are going to have to post and post. Lol.

I really don't want to study Econs anymore. Arghhh.

Some of my favourite songs in secondary school were:

-Like a Rose; A1
-If I Let You Go; Westlife
-More than Words; Westlife
-Sometimes; Britney Spears
-Love me for a Reason; Boyzone

Those were in Sec 1 or 2.

In Sec 3 & 4...

-This Love; Maroon 5
-Sweetest Goodbye; Maroon 5
-She will be Loved; Maroon 5
-Wo Nan Guo; 5566
-Chun Zai; 5566
-Shen Hua; 5566
-Yeah Yeah; Usher
-I Will; Namie Amuro
-Lion Heart; SMAP
-So Crazy; Namie Amuro

And one of my favourites. How can anyone forget? Liu Xing Yu by F4 and Qing Fei De Yi by Harlem Yu. Haha. Listening to Maroon 5 now. It brings back such great memories. I remember how Dari and I would take Jevan's Creative MuVo and play She Will be Loved by Maroon 5 and start singing loudly at the top of our voices. We probably irritated the hell out of our classmates, but they never complained. Lovelies! Haha. Or how we'd sing This Love acapella, and then dance in the classroom. When prom was approaching, we bought the Prom issue from Seventeen and dug out old Prom issues and pored over dresses, makeup, hairstyles and accessories. We went online and searched for our dream dresses. Haha. We even planned the type of dance we'd do during Prom.

Tap on my window, knock on my door. I wanna make you feel beautiful...

So many lovely memories. And I know that I can never relieve those days again. I know we have to move on, but don't you just think it is sad, how once a moment is gone, it's forever gone? You can never recapture the same atmosphere, the same emotions...

We sat in the dimly-lit classroom, listening to Mdm Wee explain KOTC while only half the class listened. The rest of us were eating sweets, passing covert notes, some of the guys reading FHM... And we couldn't wait for lessons to end so that we could go home, or play soccer/basketball, or run down to the canteen and eat. During night lessons, we looked forward to breaks where we run out of the side gate and buy bubble tea. Or before dance practices, we'd go to Uncle Louis and eat chicken rice with hair inside. We couldn't wait for O levels to be over. We couldn't wait to get out of Dunman. We couldn't wait to grow up and stop having to attend boring lessons.

But now, all we want is to be like Peter Pan, and never have to grow up. Yet... if we hadn't left our secondary schools, would we have been able to reminsce about the past? I think that there's always that child in everyone who refuses to grow up, who refuses to move on. Today that child in me is feeling particularly nostalgic.

Okay lah, haven't bathed + study for Econs.

It isn't a good feeling when you are sort of "accused" of plagiarizing. I far from agreed with what my Lit teacher said today, but I didn't say anything. I really felt like Joan of Arcadia then. The last episode I watched, she got accused of cheating for a History test, because she usually flunks them and suddenly, she got an A. Well, today I got back a Lit assignment; practical criticism on the text I'm currently doing. I got 16.5/25 for the assignment, not bad I suppose. But my teacher's comments were:

"The essay is well-written, yet certain parts are taken/lifted from critics' comments."

"Essay must be in own words"

"Please see me."

I accept her reasoning, that since it was a take-home assignment, the authorship would be dubious. Oh, but hey, I haven't exactly said why she thought I cheated, right? Because of this line, "... a surfeit of propriety and decorum, that leaves him sickened." She told me that "even scholars don't write like that." That is exactly what she said. I was frankly, quite appalled. Maybe it's just me, but I really do not see the big deal about a phrase like that. I replaced the word excess with "surfeit" and added in the propriety and decorum on my own. And her comment on that phrase was, "Did you write this? Or copy from a critic?"

What really irked me was her assumption that I lifted my ideas and my words from someone else's work. I detest that. It's not so much her doubting my integrity, as her assumption. She thinks that I am still developing the way I write, and even compared me to Mark. (Nothing to do with you, Mark.) She made me sound amateurish. Can she show me the evidence that a specific part of my essay was lifted from a critic's work? And just what does she mean by "critic"? Am I not a critic either, seeing as how I am to write a practical criticism of the excerpt of the play? Does a critic have to be some old fogey who has read all of Shakespeare's work?

All I can say is, I did not lift my work from anyone else's. I feel insulted. Maybe I am being haolian, but I do not need to copy anyone else's work for Literature. Chinese, maybe. Math, maybe. But definitely not English Literature. I have never had Mdm Wee, Mrs Kok, Mrs Ang, Mr. Chow or even Mrs. Gan for that matter, doubt my abilities to write and craft words, or even my originality. My secondary school teachers believe in me. That's enough for me, because they have marked many of my assignments. But that is more than I can say for her. I have just realised that this is the only assignment that she has marked so far, in relation to my text. How is she to judge whether my work is unoriginal or not, when she has no basis of comparison, seeing as how she has not assigned any previous essays for us to write? And for her to assume, just like that. Have I given her cause to doubt my ability to write?

I was angry, but I am not anymore, because I talked things out with my family. My dad never fails to calm me down, simply because he is so logical, its annoying. Haha.

Literature PC was alright today. I really liked the way I analyzed Love Letter by Sylvia Plath, but unfortunately, my interpretation is somewhat the exact opposite of Mrs. Gan's. Arghhh. Just hope she finds it logical.

Can't wait for next Tuesday; end of exams!!

Talking to Eileen is really fun! Lol. Oie, you black horse, go & buy SK II!!

Watched the Amazing Race this morning. It was good! Makes me feel like joining one, but my temper can get really bad, and I wouldn't want to embarrass myself on national telly. I like the Gagham family, or whatever their last name is.

Hmm... didn't really study much for Literature. Reading through the model essays now. Ahh, I can't wait for liberation! Kind of dreading, yet anticipating trainings though. I am pretty sure my stamina has completely disappeared by now. Shucks.

I need PRIDE! Why does it have to be TWO days a week??? Damn it. I need chick flicks, I need popcorn, I need neoprints, I need craziness back in my life!

Maybe, Love You. I absolutely love it when Halu says "Maybe". Muahahaha.

Sometimes I get so frustrated but I don't know how to express it in a tactful way.

Six more days to my bUrfdAeEee.

Hohoho, just felt like typing that abnormal-looking word.

I don't know what to say about Econs. I'm just very upset about the ten mark question, in which I will most probably get only one pathetic mark. Why didn't I think more??? *Screeches*

I spent one freaking hour writing two and a half pages for a FIFTEEN mark question, complete with labelled diagrams, and spent half an hour on a TWENTY FIVE mark question, and only wrote about two pages. Ridiculous. RIDDIKULUS!!!

I will most probably get a borderline fail, unless God decides that I am actually very deserving of a pass, or that he thinks such an exquisitely beautiful creature like me, who brings such exquisite felicity to the world, should not fail. Blah, what the heck am I talking about?

Joel asked me if I wanted to revise Lit tomorrow with him, and he asked me to sms him before going offline. Oie, I don't have your number! Hahaha.

Mark is seriously hilarious.

once im done, im done. for good says:
sloman, the mere mention of him..

PRIDE. says:
gets you all passionate & fired up about econs?

once im done, im done. for good says:
irks me

and...

once im done, im done. for good says:
your bday's coming leh?

once im done, im done. for good says:
when ar? 10.10?

PRIDE. says:
...
PRIDE. says:
do you want to die at my hands

once im done, im done. for good says:
i forgot. oh 14/10?

PRIDE. says:
thats it

PRIDE. says:
our friendship ends here

Hahaha. Mark keeps insisting the guys will make my birthday "celebration" on the 11th a memorable NIGHT, which sounds sick in my opinion. Lol.

Waaah my head hurts. It sucks not sleeping enough for the past few days, I don't know how people survive. Damnit.

Oh, boy. How am I expected to concentrate on Economics after watching one of the loveliest episodes of PRIDE yet again?? Actually, every episode is wonderful. Aigooo. My poor heart cannot encompass the overpowering extent of my love for Halu anymore!! I was crying into my dinner, hahaha.

My heart absolutely broke, when he took both keys with the pink ribbons around them out from each of his shirt pockets! He wanted Aki to have the key no matter what, even if he asked her to guess which key the pocket was in. T_______T

Halu, why must you be so PERFECT???

I'm going to remain celibate forever, because my true love is Halu, whom I cannot be together with because he doesn't exist in reality!! Damn it! Life is unfair!

Sigh. Not anywhere near to finishing my Econs soon. Luckily its an afternoon paper tomorrow, but still. Loads to memorise, more than I expected.

I'm off.

Oooh it's pouring now. But the weather's still hot and stuff, or maybe its because I'm wearing my school uniform.

I suspect my mother keeps maggots in the freezer. Was rummaging through that particular compartment just now, looking for something to add into my noodles, and I found these small, sweet-potato shaped thingies wrapped in clear bags. Eww. They looked alot like maggots; maybe she's been cooking them for me to eat!! I cut up an orange to eat after my lunch, but it looks horrible. Hohoho.

History paper today was alright, thank God. I stayed up till eleven, went to bed, then woke up at 2am again to study. Slept at 4, and woke up again at 5am. Ahhh. Thank goodness Cavillo and Garibaldi came up, because I studied them only this morning, and everything was still fresh in my head. Southeast Asia was definitely tougher. Just hope whatever I wrote was relevant. I'm thinking I should be able to get a decent pass. I was controlling my pee as well as I could! Haha. 'Cos there simply wasn't enough time for me to run to the toilet.

Some updates!

We (our History group) got 89 marks out of a 100 for our History project, which we did on Animal Farm! Another group got 97 though, haha. But I'm still very happy with our grade, because we really put in alot of effort into the project!

Love Story in Harvard is going to screen on Channel 55 next month, and my dad helped me sign up for that channel!! Hehehe. Jewel in the Palace & Lovers in Paris are going to screen on Channel U too! Am deliriously happy, puahaha. Heard from Heidi that Jewel is very good. After those, I'm going to hunt down the MISA VCD, which Ellis says is better than StH and FH! Hmmm... I want to rewatch Full House too.

Zhiying's most probably staying over on the 13th! ^^ I want to watch tons and tons of chick flicks, the Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff type! Bring It On etc... I kinda miss Lizzie Mcguire. :( They don't show it anymore. Sigh. I think I'm a true bimbo at heart. I almost wanted to take the bus all the way to Tampines interchange today, because they were showing Diva on a Dime on TV Mobile, which is this makeover show, and today's one is exciting cos it's a prom thing! Didn't even get to see the girl undergo any form of makeover. All I managed to catch was them shopping for accessories and fabric. Which reminds me, I'd love to wear a ribbon in my hair, except I'd look stupid I think. Hoho. Give my any show with a pretty girl hidden beneath dorky specs and braces, and her best friend who's a hot guy, and who's been in love with her forever, and the object of the girl's affection, an equally hot guy but who's a total cad, and a MAKEOVER, which is a MUST in every chick flick!! Those are my FAVOURITES. Muahaha.

Oh, I watched Joan of Arcadia yesterday, as recommended by Nadz. It's not bad. I think the girl Joan's pretty. After that was Gilmore Girls, which is a favourite of mine, even though I've only seen maybe two or three episodes in my entire life. Haha.

Econs paper tomorrow, and its in the afternoon. So after I shower, I'm going to sleep for a bit then wake up and study, watch PRIDE (!!!!!), then study through the night. Hope everything goes to plan. Haha.

Alright, I'll end here for now. And yes, I know I said I wouldn't blog till Friday, but I couldn't resist. Haha. Handah!