I am so sick of this life, I wish I could open my wardrobe and enter Narnia right now.

Okay, maybe not. But I know I want to be a character in one of those fanfics on Soompi. I live my life foolishly! I feel as if a big, big cloud is obscuring my vision, metaphorically speaking, and disabling me from seeing the cruel, harsh reality of life. Wake up? Yes, I know I need to do that, but this is just me. I will forever be so dreamy and build sandcastles in the air. Aish, sometimes I really wonder what is up with me. I absolutely crave perfection when it comes to certain things, yet towards some other things, I could hardly care. Love, the way I look, the things I write... all of them have to be in the exact same mould I have casted for them, otherwise, they will become ugly to me.

I know that it is very easy for me to become a wo na fei, simply because I love languishing and lazing around so much. It is only through the sheer fear of living a hard life filled with poverty, and the inability to buy pretty things for myself, as well as support my parents, that spurs me on to study. I am not one of those people who are willing to study so hard all of their school years, and have their careers mapped out. I feel like such a bum sometimes. I take things very easily, and I never ever stressed till the last minute.

I miss the verbal sparring that I had with people like Jevan & Bernard Hoon. The teasings with Sockos, Shyuan, Vannessa & the Famous Five. I've known these people for the better part of my life, and when you suddenly find that easy comraderie gone from your life... you just realise what a precious thing it was.

Funny how Mr. Jeow said JC would be one of the best times of my life, but I don't find myself enjoying it. I am just horrendously neutral about it. I will never bitch about the people in my school again, because it is just so freaking pointless. Would polytechnic have been a better choice? I honestly don't know. The only worthy learning point in JC so far would be joining basketball. I've learnt discipline and perserverance from there.

One day my life is going to change and I am going to do the things I love the most. One day I will not be tied down by the strict regimentations of the education system here.
One day.