Today I realised how horribly stubborn I can be. And possibly horribly evil. I really think I am very far from being nice. I need to embark on a journey of self-improvement. I need to learn respect, humility and I need to change this stubborn, non-accepting streak in me.

I'm getting sick of Economics essays. Especially when they are all asking the same thing. This weekend has been especially unproductive. I can't lose my motivation now. I need to keep it up.

Listening to Tian Kong now, which is really very nice. Aye, I really wonder if the world can ever be perfect again. Not perfect-perfect, but perfect as it was when I was a child. Just for a day. Wouldn't you want to return to your childhood again? With Precious Puppies and bubble-guns, hopscotch, mad laughter... I think even as a kid, I was already rather weird. I loved standing in the huge toilet in the kitchen of my old house when it was around 6+pm, because it would be bathed in this beautiful fiery-orange glow, a testimony of the sun setting. And I would just stand there, soaking in the rays, feeling so enriched and that the particular moment would be the singular most beautiful thing I'd ever experience. I wish I'd taken more pictures of my old house before I moved out. I miss that place.

Someday, everything will be so beautiful again. Someday there will be no epidemics or disasters wiping the human race out. Someday the terrorists will see that what they are doing is going nowhere. Someday the detractors of the terrorists will see that they are humans too. Someday there will be no murders, no fighting. For just one day, the sun will shine and the clouds will be beautiful shapes in the sky. For just one day, we will be like the people in the National Day MTVs; racially harmonious, laughing and celebrating the beauty of life. For just one day, we will love and respect our elders, our family and friends. For just one day, everything will be like the days of my childhood again.

Because I believe the world is going to end soon... I will treasure my life more than ever. I will not quarrel with my brother (I will try my hardest), I will help my mom out with the housework more, I will try to accept my dad's lame jokes without rolling my eyes, I will not have materialistic wants unless I can pay for them myself, I will cherish my friends more, I will not speak nasty things about people and I will work hard.

Because its not how long you've lived, but how you've lived.