I'm so sleepy and tired. I need some time away from the things and people I know to just rest, recharge and get in touch with myself again. Because its so easy for me to lose myself during hectic times.

I can't help feeling like something inside of me has changed. There seems to be something different about me nowadays. And I don't like it, whatever it is. I feel like one of those characters in the Animorph series, where evil slugs crawl in through their ears and take over their whole lives.

Everything is boiling underneath like a volcano waiting to erupt, its lava slowly boiling to a full bubbling, eventually leading to an unstoppable, irreversible explosion, with hot, molten lava burning everything and killing any living creature in sight.

For some good, honest truth in this world. Yet we can't have that all the time. The truth always has to be tempered with lies. Why?

I'm missing 4C more than ever. Annoying as the boys may have been, playing soccer in the classroom and throwing dirty jokes around and all the constant teasing. From Stephanie's "Yeah boy" to Teng Lui's constant, unwavering smiles, to Wileen's hardworking-ness, to SockLing's high pitched voice, to Jonathan and Bernard Teo's quarrelling... I feel as if I've known them all my life. And I miss sitting next to Dari, much more than I ever knew I would.

Once some things are lost.. there is no way you can ever get them back.

Sometimes even I get tired of life. I'm usually filled with boundless optimism, but I get tired too. And I'm so very tired now.

Teach me how not to care, to have a heart of stone, an unseeing eye, an unthinking brain.