I'm dead tired. I fell asleep on the bus, and I just wanted to lie down and stretch out, enjoying the air-conditioning and shutting my eyes forever. At least till I deem to wake up.

The past few days have been spent studying, eating, going for trainings, whining and complaining... What kind of stupid holiday is this, anyway? Ugh!! The A levels aren't even here yet and I'm already stressed out. I haven't stayed at home for a full day since... I don't know when.

Have you ever looked at those old people and wondered who they were in their pasts? Most of the time, we just see them as old people who're always there. But I sometimes wonder, what is the story behind that wrinkle-lined face, that perpetual frown, that grumpy nature, that stiff leg? Then I wonder, will I be like that next time? Everybody grows old... but am I going to be one of those nameless old people, who all look alike?

When I take the late bus to school on normal school days, there will always be this old couple; a plump man and a woman. Despite the white hair on both of their heads, their faces are not as wrinkled and lined as the other old people I've seen. And its really sweet, cos you don't see old couples so often anymore. The old man will always help his wife onto the bus, because she has arthritis I think, and he will tap both their cards on the EZ-Link reader, while his wife goes and sits down. He will then pass her a blanket for her to cover her legs with.

Everytime I see them, I think of the song "Love, me" by Colin Raye.

I need to go on a journey of self-discovery and self-improvement. I just keep feeling like I'm not a good enough person. The thoughts that go through my head sometimes, scare me quite a bit. Sure, they're thoughts and just that. But why do I even have such bad thoughts in the first place? I want to be pure on the inside. I need to go for an anger-management course, and a course that teaches you to be kind and forgiving even when the person pisses you off like hell... I know its impossible, but sometimes I wish I were a saint, without any evil or bad thoughts about people and things.

I want to declutter. But where am I supposed to find the time??

I love the song Life Goes On by 2pac.