Went out to study with Zhiying today at McCafe. I finally finished the section on political impact, but I've only finished reading it, not memorizing. Aish. There's tons of material to cover for the block tests, and there's only a week left. Time is just whizzing by this year. It seems only like yesterday when the block tests were a month away. Now, before you know it, they are seven days away!

I want to cherish everything and everyone I have in this year, because next year, it'll all be gone. I shan't be moody anymore. Even if I am, I shan't show it. Happiness is a choice... and I want to be happy and smiling!

Can't wait for tomorrow. I get to see Darianne again! Together with Jevan, Yusho, Bernard and some others. I should go back to Dunman sometime soon. I spent some of the best years of my life in there. One day, I'll give something back to Dunman. Maybe I'll donate a statue or something, hahaha. (Remember those scary statues that were rumoured to come alive at night?)

It seems like a lifetime, and yet not so, when I think back to those days. When we were "young and stupid". When we were still running to the canteen to buy curry chicken noodles, when we were screaming our heads off with laughter, when we were splashing water at each other in the toilet, throwing cake at each other and then getting scolded by the teacher...

Everyone's grown up now. Even my Chingy has a boyfriend now. (I sound like her mother) Which in a way, is justified, because she was always so shy around the guys she used to have a crush on. She was probably the shy-est in our group. And now, she's got somebody and he loves her. (That's from a song, puahaha.)

I feel as if our lives will never be the same again. Sometimes, I wish to gently wipe the makeup off Belinda's face, and to see her unpainted face again. I want the secondary school Belinda back with me again. I don't know where she's gone to. Of the five of us, she's the one who grew up the fastest. She's not a kid anymore, but a woman. I still remember the way she'd tie her hair in a neat ponytail, and tuck out her blouse only a little, how she'd carry her purse in one hand while I stuffed mine into my pocket, how she'd always go to the toilet to arrange her fringe... I miss her so much. I miss that Belinda.

I miss Chingy's crazy antics, and how she'd do hilarious actions in public without caring a hoot who was looking. I remember her classic martial arts pose at Conrad Hotel, in her black fishnet stockings and Dari's blue Adidas shoes.

I miss Dari's presence next to me during class. I miss how she would lie on me, and how I'd lie on her, and we would sneakily eat candy during class. I miss how we'd dance in class, and how we made a book on Mdm Wee's life, how she'd laugh till her face turned red, how she'd make funny noises and expressions and crack me up... I miss her unique, Darianne sweetness that's just one of a kind.

I miss Felicia's gracefulness during dance, and how she'd willingly oblige me when I asked her to do one of BoA's dances. I still remember how she fell down during dancing to one of BoA's songs, and got up again, pretending nothing happened. At the same time, I miss her crazy laughter, her sarcasm, her "You want sweet?" action that would freak anyone out.

We spun round and round, on that crazy carousal of friendship and love, our hands holding one another's tightly, knowing none of us would ever let go. Everything around us was a blur, yet that blur was our Paradise. All we needed to hear was the sound of our mad laughter, and all we saw was one another's sparkly, dancing eyes, scrunched up in delirious happiness.

Do you girls remember how we'd use to spin round outside 4B? I still remember.

I miss each of you so badly. We've all changed and nothing can ever bring the past back. I know I shall never find another love like this one.