I'm feeling like shit right now, pardon the word. I've got a migraine of the worst sort, and it didn't help that the bus journey home was led by a crazy bus driver and a spoilt TV Mobile that kept emitting an irritating high-pitched noise that just made my head go crazy. I feel like there are tiny hammers knocking on my skull and I feel like barfing. I don't even know why I'm online; I ought to be sleeping.

I wish I could be happy forever and ever. I wish I never need to feel physical or emotional pain. I wish I was healthy and sunshine-y everyday. I looked into the mirror and saw horrid dark eye circles, aging skin and dull, dull, dead eyes peering back at me. Why do I look like that, when I'm only eighteen? Why am I so judgemental and cynical, when I'm only eighteen?

Why are we living our lives this way? Why, why, why? Unable of saying what we want to say because things will never be the same again after that. Pretending not to care when we really care. Too much. And then when it's too late, we regret not showing that we care.

I'm tired like how I've never been tired before. All I want is someone to hold me while I cry, kiss my forehead and tell me that everything will be alright in the end. (Okay this is so gay and it sounds disgusting. Ignore it.)

To borrow Belinda's analogy about life being like a train, where people get on and people get off...

I really wonder who will be left at the train depot at the very end. Who would have stayed with me throughout the entire journey.

I miss you, my friend.