Good morning. As usual, I couldn't sleep past dawn. Wanted to do Persuasion but I can't seem to get my brain working.

18th Floor Balcony by Blue October is my favourite song of the moment. And I can't remember the tune, neither can I seem to find the song, but I remember being very moved by it. Check it out if you can! I like the frontman's voice.

As promised, the exposition on soulmates. Not in a very romantic mood this morning, but I shall try.

Disclaimer: Do remember that this is the work of a girl who enjoys reading books like "Where Rainbows End", and enjoys watching sappy Korean dramas/movies, and spends her free time writing short passages on love/daydreaming about love. Which means to say it might possibly be unrealistic and ridiculous for some (like Ree*cough*na), but which the girl sincerely believes in.

Alright. Now that clears things up.

Let me explain how the talk on soulmates began. It happened in the coffeeshop near school, over dinner. (By the way, was having roast pork rice, absolutely delicious) Anyway, Reena was saying something about Xinhui believing in the one true love, and I told Reena I agreed with Xinhui. Our conversation went something like that.

Me: Yeah, I believe in that also!

Reena: Huh??

Me: I believe in soulmates, in meeting that one person. (I'm romanticising everything I said, because I think I was speaking in a barbaric way)

Reena: Wah lao. Melissa, you so stupid ah?! I thought you were smart. You don't look like the type to believe in this rubbish!

Thereafter I proceeded to severely berate her for calling me and my beliefs stupid. Okay, but this is Reena's point of view. She says that if soulmates exist, then in the Singaporean context, our soulmates are only confined to the geographical boundaries of Singapore. Because of all the same race/nationality marriages, that's what she meant. And that alone rendered the notion of "soulmates" ridiculous, because if soulmates did exist, why did people only marry people of the same nationality/race. Something to that effect? And she did bring up a salient point. She said that if everyone had a soulmate, then why did divorces occur? I told her, "That's 'cos the person they married isn't their soulmate." And Reena said, "Oh, so when the person runs off with another man/woman, leaving the children behind, it's because the person has found her soulmate!"

Well, firstly I'd like to say that while I believe there are soulmates, I similarly believe that very few people actually get to meet their soulmates. So in this life, you settle for second or third or fourth best. But you think that's the best, simply because you've never ever met the best. So how do you know when you've met the best, your soulmate?

Tough huh, there aren't any "Soulmate Tests" or confirmations you can undertake. But in my very idealistic and romantic opinion, that's the beauty of it. When you meet your soulmate, you'll just know, be it consciously or sub-consciously, that this person is the one person you've been waiting for, the one person you'll always be waiting for. And you'd go through hell and fire for your soulmate, because in this life, there's only one of him for one of you. I believe when you meet your soulmate, there'll be a higher level of connection between the two of you. Something close to telepathy, something where there is that special silence, where words cease to be the only form of communication. Please remember that I don't think soulmates happen to everyone.

Yati said that there can't possibly be soulmates, because there'll always be people better than your soulmate. But a soulmate isn't about the most good-looking, the most altruistic, the most compassionate, the sweetest, the most romantic... it isn't about society's standard of "best" or the "ideal" husband/wife, not about your own expectations and standards of a partner, but a soulmate is one who is best for you, the only one who can ever make your heart break and then be the same person to mend it back again. When you find your soulmate, all your prior expectations will be swept away, because those are mere expectations, something you create based on television and books (e.g. tall, dark, handsome with hot bodies). You find love in the most unexpected people. There could be a million people out there who love you more ardently, who can give you a better life, but because you've met him... because you know that such a person exists, he's the best you know you'll ever want.

I know it sounds really stupid, but that's why it's called soulmate. In this life, there's only going to be that one person whose soul connects with yours. And you speak to one another with your hearts.

Okay lah, I know I'm a freak, but hey, it's nice to be able to have this romantic streak. I can daydream about it, and it makes my life a little more exciting. I'm only ever going to marry my soulmate, so even if I don't meet him, I will never settle for second best. But I do want a child though. A little girl, so it's a bit tough to find a way to have my own child without marrying. I could adopt, but it wouldn't be the same as having a baby I gave birth to.

That's it man. Now I'm talking about babies. 6 hours of sleep don't do me any good, my mind starts working in weird ways.